


The One Good Thing

by whichstiel



Series: Season 12 Codas [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, End!Verse Castiel - Freeform, End!Verse Dean Winchester, End!verse, M/M, Mamma Mia - Freeform, Memories, Season/Series 12, That photo, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 19:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8339272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichstiel/pseuds/whichstiel
Summary: An episode coda for Mamma Mia speculating on the fallout of Mary finding that end!verse photo in John's journal. I know it might have been a prop mishap. I DON'T CARE. :D





	

“Dean.” Castiel entered the room in a flutter of trench coat.

Dean looked up from his book, an easy smile on his face. It was hard not to smile right now. His family - Sam, Cas, his mother - were all safe in the bunker. “What’s up, Cas?” His grin dropped at the look of panic on Castiel. “Cas, what’s going on?” Dean threw the book on the table, preparing immediately to spring up and grab the nearest weapon.

Castiel thrust a photograph at Dean and his heart immediately plummeted. Shit. Hesitantly, he reached out and grabbed the photo, holding it gingerly by the edges as though its contents might leach into him if he wasn’t careful. “Cas, where’d you get this?”

“Your mother just asked me about it. I don’t know where it’s from.” Castiel’s voice cracked on the last word. He cleared his throat and balled his hands into fists as though steeling himself for a fight.

“Yeah, I know what it’s from. It’s not… It’s not something I like to talk about.” Dean set the photograph carefully on the table. It was a black and white picture with five men, one in a wheelchair, next to a wooden sign that said “Camp Chitaqua”.

Castiel’s hands clenched the table. “Dean, I-” He took a deep breath. “I’ve had so many memories washed from me. I just need to know.”

Dean swallowed and nodded. “Okay. Yeah. I uh, I get that. You remember when Zach sent me ahead to see the ending?”

Castiel slid into a chair, his hands still clenching the table. “Yes.”

“Well, this isn’t you you. It’s the other you. That never happened.” Castiel frowned in confusion. “What I mean is, when Zach sent me ahead it was to one possible future, right? And you were there. I mean, you know you were. You remember that I told you?”

“Yes, I remember. You told me that I was there, that I fought by the other Dean’s side.”

“Yeah, and that’s true. But Cas.” Dean sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. “What I didn’t tell you is that you were different there.”

Castiel slid the picture back over as though he could discern his once future self’s true nature if he only stared hard enough. “I look like myself.” He glanced down at his trench coat, lifting the lapel with two fingers. “I mean, I clearly changed clothes at some point. But otherwise?”

“Cas, you were almost human.”

“And that bothered you.” HIs eyes momentarily held a lost look.

Dean winced, remembering Castiel’s last memory of being human in the bunker. “What? No, Cas, that didn’t bother me. What bothered me… No, that’s the wrong word. What hurts about this picture is how…damaged you were. I mean, Cas,you don’t get it because you didn’t see it. But you were losing yourself in drugs. You’d lost faith in Heaven, God. Even I could see you were just barely stitched together and I was a hot mess myself back then. And then Dean- I mean I-” Dean’s voice broke. The thought hovered on the tip of his tongue. That guilt he had carried around on behalf of his alternative reality self. He looked at Castiel then and, after a moment’s hesitation, reached out to take his hand. “Cas, future me - future Dean. He sent you to die. In the end, before I was pulled out. I sent you to die.”

“Dean.” Castiel’s fingers closed around Dean’s hand. During the course of Dean’s confession panic had bled from his face, leaving confusion and surprise in its wake. Now, his eyes were soft, gentle. “Dean that wasn’t you.”

“Yeah, it was.” Dean tapped the photo. “Just like this was you. I sent you to die and we both knew it. And you went anyway. I mean, how fucked up is that? I don’t know if I can ever let go of that. I can’t ever let go of how close I got to screwing everything up. To screwing you up. The one good thing in my life.” Dean laughed bitterly. “‘Course I guess that happened anyway. You lost everything.” He scrubbed at his face and his palms came away wet. “I found this picture in the wreckage of Bobby’s house, Cas. I found it and I set it down. I was ready to walk away like it was a bad dream. But then I went back in, Cas. I grabbed it so I could figure out what was behind it. And then I kept it with me. It reminded me of how much I could lose if I screwed up. And after Sam chucked Lucifer into the cage I stuck it in Dad’s journal. It’s a part of history. A part of my history, even if it never happened. And it reminds me of the kind of shit I can do to the people I love. To you.” Dean carefully pinched the edge of the photograph and flipped it over so it lay face down on the table. He stared at the blank, white square.

Castiel took a long, considering breath before letting it out and scooting closer. He pulled both of Dean’s hands into his own, forcing Dean to turn towards him. “Dean. I fell. And I chose. I chose. Sometimes they were the wrong choices and sometimes they were right for the time. But my choices are not on you. They never have been. Even this Castiel would tell you that. I’m sure of it.”

Dean laughed, low and broken. “I ain’t sure of it.”

“Well, I’ll just have to keep reminding you.” Castiel tilted his head down and leaned forward until his forehead rested on Dean’s. They sat like that in silence for several minutes, simply breathing, before Castiel pulled away. He smiled a shy, lopsided smile. “The only good thing in your life, hmm?”

A hot flush crept along Dean’s neck and he shrugged.

Castiel squeezed his hands and then let go, pushing himself up from the table and grabbing the photo. “I’ll return this to Mary,” he said. Dean nodded, too lost in the shock of memories long past and the loss of Castiel’s warm hands to say anything. Castiel half turned to go. He cupped a gentle hand on Dean’s cheek. “The only good thing? Surely you know it’s the same for me.”

Castiel’s hand slid away as he strode purposefully towards the hallway. Dean sat, shocked and still, his hand pressed against his cheek in wonder.


End file.
